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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Online Famous Quotations - 177
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William Penn
No pain, no palm no thorns, no throne no gall, no glory, no glory no cross, no crown.
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Vernon A. Walters
The fact that I was a bachelor provided two opportunities or two handles that they might get on me, namely, girls or boys.
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Sydney Harris
An idealist believes the short run doesn't count. A cynic believes the long run doesn't matter. A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run.
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Angela Mont
Those who danced where thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
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A. Mark Wells
The Christian does not consider death to be the end of his life, but the end of his troubles.
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Dick Brandon
Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
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Fritz Perls
I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine.
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Ralph Hodgson
Some things have to be believed to be seen.
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Harold S. Geneen
Leadership is practiced not so much in words as in attitude and in actions.
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J.B.S. Haldane, "On Being the Right Size" in the (1928) book "Possible Worlds"
To the biologist the problem of socialism appears largely as a problem of size. The extreme socialists desire to run every nation as a single business concern. I do not suppose that Henry Ford would find much difficulty in running Andorra or Luxembourg on a socialistic basis. He has already more men on his pay-roll than their population. It is conceivable that a syndicate of Fords, if we could find them, would make Belgium Ltd. or Denmark Inc. pay their way. But while nationalization of certain industries is an obvious possibility in the largest of states, I find it no easier to picture a completely socialized British Empire or United States than an elephant turning somersaults or a hippopotamus jumping a hedge.
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Casey Stengel
Most people my age are dead at the present time.
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John F. Kennedy, Speech for the Dallas Trade Mart which was never delivered.
There will always be dissident voices heard in the land expresing opposition without alternatives, finding fault but never favor, perceiving gloom on every side, and seeking influence without responsibility.
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