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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Online Famous Quotations - 143
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Alexandre Dumas, fils
If God were suddenly condemned to live the life which He has inflicted upon men, He would kill Himself.
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Donald Robert Perry Marquis
It is better to be happy for a moment and be burned up with beauty than to live a long time and be bored all the while.
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Bella Abzug
Women have been trained to speak softly and carry a lipstick. Those days are over.
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Mark Twain
We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.
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Edward Irving Koch
We're in the hands of the state legislature and God, but at the moment, the state legislature has more to say than God.
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Thomas H. Huxley
Agnosticism simply means that a man shall not say he knows or believes that for which he has no grounds for professing to believe.
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Brian Tracy
In life you can never be too kind or too fair everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load. When you go through your day expressing kindness and courtesy to all you meet, you leave behind a feeling of warmth and good cheer, and you help alleviate the burdens everyone is struggling with.
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Peter Ustinov
It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously.
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Virgil
It never troubles the wolf how many the sheep may be.
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J Danforth Quayle
... I pledge allegiance to the Christian flag and to the Savior, for whose Kingdom it stands, one Savior, crucified, risen, and coming again, with life and liberty for all who believe.
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Gaius Petronius
We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form into teams we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising, and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress, while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.
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William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 3 scene 1
I have heard of your paintings too, well enough; God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another.
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