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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Online Famous Quotations - 171
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Unknown
Barnum was wrong - it's more like every 30 seconds.
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Oscar Wilde
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
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General George Catlett Marshall
Military power wins battles, but spiritual power wins wars.
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Benjamin Disraeli
I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.
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Bill Hoest
I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
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Danny Kaye
Life is a great big canvas throw all the paint on it you can.
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Charles Austin Beard
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
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Kathleen Norris
There are men I could spend eternity with. but not this life.
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Beryl Pfizer
I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.
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Sylvia Ashton-Warner, Spinster
No other job in the world could possibly dispossess one so completely as this job of teaching. You could stand all day in a laundry, for instance, still in possession of your mind. But this teaching utterly obliterates you. It cuts right into your being: essentially, it takes over your spirit. It drags it out from where it would hide.
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Anton Chekhov
We shall find peace. We shall hear the angels, we shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.
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Samuel Johnson
It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.
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