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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Online Famous Quotations - 110
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Voltaire
Verses which do not teach men new and moving truths do not deserve to be read.
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Willie Nelson
There are more serious problems in life than financial ones, and I've had a lot of those. I've been broke before, and will be again. Heartbroke That's serious. Lose a few bucks. That's not.
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Woody Allen
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
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Sun-tzu
Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.
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George Washington
The preservation of the sacred fire of liberty and the destiny of the republican model of government are justly considered ... deeply ... finally, staked on the experiment entrusted to the hands of the American people.
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Edward R. Murrow
Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.
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Andrew Schneider
There were always people like the pope. They serve a certain function, of course. They subsidize us. But, they don't create anything and they must never be allowed to stop the artist from creating.
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Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley
The beginning is always today.
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Henry L. Stimson
The chief lesson I have learned in a long life is that the only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him; and the surest way to make him untrustworthy is to distrust him and show your distrust.
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Jane Wagner
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat.
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Bob Stokes
The world is proof that God is a committee.
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A. C. Benson
One's mind has a way of making itself up in the background, and it suddenly becomes clear what one means to do.
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