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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Online Famous Quotations - 170
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Wayne W Dyer
It's never to late to have a happy childhood.
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Mother Theresa
If we want a love message to be heard, it has to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.
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Johnny Carson
Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.
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Henry Miller, The Colossus of Maroussi
To be silent the whole day long, see no newspaper, hear no radio, listen to no gossip, be thoroughly and completely lazy, thoroughly and completely indifferent to the fate of the world is the finest medicine a man can give himself.
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George Santayana
An ideal cannot wait for its realization to prove its validity.
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Isaac Rosenfeld
In every dispute between parent and child, both cannot be right, but they may be, and usually are, both wrong. It is this situation which gives family life its peculiar hysterical charm.
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Henry Waldorf Francis
A court is a place where what was confused before becomes more unsettled than ever.
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William Safire
I think we have a need to know what we do not need to know.
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Erica Jong
Everyone has a talent. What is rare is the courage to nurture it in solitude and to follow the talent to the dark places where it leads.
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Liz Winston
When mom found my diaphram, I told her it was a bathing cap for my cat.
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Hellen Keller
When one door of happiness closes, another opens but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
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John Ruskin
Education is the leading of human souls to what is best, and making what is best out of them.
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