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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 10
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Aristophanes
This is what extremely grieves us, that a man who never fought Should contrive our fees to pilfer, on who for his native land Never to this day had oar, or lance, or blister in his hand.
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H. L. Mencken
Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undoubtedly do it again.
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Martha Graham
The body says what words cannot.
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P. J. O\'Rourke
Skiing consists of wearing '3
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John Milton
Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.
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William Shakespeare
Age cannot wither her, nor custom staleHer infinite variety other women cloyThe appetites they feed, but she makes hungryWhere most she satisfies.
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Germaine Greer
Probably the only place where a man can feel really secure is in a maximum security prison, except for the imminent threat of release.
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Leo Tolstoy
I know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the greatest complexity, can seldom accept even the simplest and most obvious truth if it be such as would oblige them to admit the falsity of conlusions which they have delighted in explaining to colleages, which they have proudly taught to others, and which they have woven, thread by thread, into the fabric of their lives.
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Kahlil Gibran
The tears that you spill, the sorrowful, are sweeter than the laughter of snobs and the guffaws of scoffers.
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Isaiah
And He shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.
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Henry J. Tillman
Life is something that everyone should try at least once.
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Blow
Fred Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
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