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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Online Famous Quotations - 146
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Vince Lombardi
Our greatest glory was not in never falling, but in rising when we fell.
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Jonathan Swift
I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.
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William Shakespeare, "The Merry Wives of Windsor", Act 2 scene 2
This is the short and the long of it.
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M. C. Richards
All the arts we practice are apprenticeship. The big art is our life.
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William Somerset Maugham, The Bread-Winner
You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct.
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Buddha
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. you yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.
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Woody Allen
I am at two with nature.
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John Donne
Death be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadfull, for thou art not so, For, those, whom thou thinkst, thou dost overthrow, die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
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Homer
It was built against the will of the immortal gods, and so it did not last for long.
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Thomas Jefferson
That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves.
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Samuel Johnson
Do not accustom yourself to use big words for little matters.
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Author Unknown
A handful of common sense is worth a bushel of learning.
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