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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Online Famous Quotations - 111
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Bob Dylan
What's money A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.
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Marquis de Sade
Consider the problem from the point of view of evil, evil being almost always pleasure's true and major charm considered thus, the crime must appear greater when perpetrated upon a being of your identical sort than when inflicted upon one which is not, and this once established, the delight automatically doubles.
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Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
Kindness and intelligence don't always deliver us from the pitfalls and traps there are always failures of love, of will, of imagination. There is no way to take the danger out of human relationships.
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Alastair Reid
Children are entitled to their otherness, as anyone is and when we reach them, as we sometimes do, it is generally on a point of sheer delight, to us so astonishing, but to them so natural.
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Josh Sugarmann
Handguns are a public-health problem.
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Albert Einstein
The true measure of a man is the degree to which he has managed to subjugate his ego.
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Peter Ustinov
In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.
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John J. Plomp
You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers.
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Woody Allen
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size
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Thomas Jefferson, Notes on the State of Virginia, 1781-82
The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
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Robert Anthony, The Man Who Would Never Be King
I have been like a child walking along the shore line. Quickly discarding one sea shell for another of more outward beauty-- never to know the pearl within!
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Max Beerbohm
You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.
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