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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Proverbs and Sayings - 2
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George Jean Nathan
Marriage is based on the theory that when man discovers a brand of beer exactly to his taste he should at once throw up his job and go work in the brewery.
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Jean de La Fontaine
Help thyself, and God will help thee.
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Seneca
There is nothing in the world so much admired as a man who knows how to bear unhappiness with courage.
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Margaret Cho
Some people are that - more than a parent, more than a role model, more than anything less than a religion.
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John Milton
The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.
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H. L. Mencken
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
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Charles De Gaulle
Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.
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W.C. Fields
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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Henry Miller
Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home, his face might burn up.
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Earl of Chesterfield
Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no delay, no procrastination; never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
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Pat Conroy, The Prince of Tides
Once you have traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and over again in the quietest chambers, that the mind can never break off from the journey.
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