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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Quotations from Famous People - 200
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Saul Bellow
A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.
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Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf
I believe that forgiving them is God's function. Our job is simply to arrange the meeting. (on those behind the 911 attacks)
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Scott Adams, The Dilbert Future
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
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Michael Gartner
There is no reason for anyone in the country, for anyone except a police officer or a military person, to buy, to own, to have, to use, a handgun. The only way to control handguns use in this country is to prohibit the guns. And the only way to do that is to change the Constitution.
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Benjamin Disraeli
The difference of race is one of the reasons why I fear war may always exist; because race implies difference, difference implies superiority, and superiority leads to predominance.
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Horace, Epistles
Think to yourself that every day is your last; the hour to which you do not look forward will come as a welcome surprise.
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C. C. Colton
Nothing more completely baffles one who is full of trick and duplicity than straigthforward and simple integrity in another. A knave would rather quarrel with a brother knave than with a fool, but he would rather avoid a quarrel with one honest man than with both. He can combat a fool by management and address, and he can conquer a knave by temptations. But the honest man is neither to be bamboozled nor bribed.
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Author Unknown
Freedom is a package deal - with it comes responsibilities and consequences.
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G. K. Chesterton
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies probably because they are generally the same people.
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Samuel Johnson
Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
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Francis Bacon
No pleasure is comparable to the standing upon the vantage ground of Truth.
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George Herbert
Go not for every grief to the physician, nor for every quarrel to the lawyer, nor for every thirst to the pot.
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