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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Proverbs and Sayings - 1
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Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
The greatist thing in the world is for a man to know how to be himself.
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Robertson Davies, The Diary of Samuel Marchbanks, 1947
I object to being told that I am saving daylight when my reason tells me that I am doing nothing of the kind... At the back of the Daylight Saving scheme, I detect the bony, blue-fingered hand of Puritanism, eager to push people into bed earlier, and get them up earlier, to make them healthy, wealthy, and wise in spite of themselves.
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Dudley Field Malone
I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.
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Aristotle
I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who overcomes his enemies.
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Alan B. Watts
But my dear man, reality is only a Rorschach ink-blot, you know.
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H.L. Mencken
Imagine the Creator as a stand up commedian - and at once the world becomes explicable.
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John Russell
Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.
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Samuel Johnson
When once a man has made celebrity necessary to his happiness, he has put it in the power of the weakest and most timorous malignity, if not to take away his satisfaction, at least to withhold it. His enemies may indulge their pride by airy negligence and gratify their malice by quiet neutrality.
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Ronald Reagan
People don't start wars, governments do.
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Emo Phillips
Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
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Publilius Syrus
While we stop to think, we often miss our opportunity.
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Eric Hoffer
You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy.
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