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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Quotations from Famous People - 191
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Andrew Schneider
I always admired atheists. I think it takes a lot of faith.
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Nelson Boswell
The difference between greatness and mediocrity is often how an individual views a mistake...
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John Milton
... If weakness may excuse, What Murderer, what Traitor, Parricide, Incestuous, sacrilegious, but may plead it All Wickedness is Weakness That plea therefore With God or Man will gain thee no Remission.
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Al McGuire
I think the world is run by 'C' students.
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Confucius
Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.
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Charles Krauthammer
Take all your dukes and marquesses and earls and viscounts, pack them into one chamber, call it the House of Lords to satisfy their pride and then strip it of all political power. It's a solution so perfectly elegant and preposterous that only the British could have managed it.
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Franklin D. Roosevelt
I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird, and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.
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Noam Chomsky
Censorship is never over for those who have experienced it. It is a brand on the imagination that affects the individual who has suffered it, forever.
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C. C. Colton
It is with disease of the mind, as with those of the body; we are half dead before we understand our disorder, and half cured when we do.
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Despair.com
The downside to being better than everyone is that people seem to think you are pretentious.
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Robert Collier
Every contrivance of man, every tool, every instrument, every utensil, every article designed for use, of each and every kind, evolved from a very simple beginning.
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C. C. Colton
He that will believe only what he can fully comprehend must have a long head or a very short creed.
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