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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Proverbs and Sayings - 28
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Benjamin Disraeli
There are three kinds of lies lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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La Rochefoucauld
Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors.
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Dorothy Parker
The two most beautiful words in the English language are ``check enclosed.'
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Ayn Rand
Live a life as a monument to your soul.
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Adolf Hitler
The leader of genius must have the ability to make different opponents appear as if they belonged to one category.
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Henry David Thoreau
We are always paid for our suspicion by finding what we suspect.
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Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, The Crazy Ape
When I received the Nobel Prize, the only big lump sum of money I have ever seen, I had to do something with it. The easiest way to drop this hot potato was to invest it, to buy shares. I knew that World War II was coming and I was afraid that if I had shares which rise in case of war, I would wish for war. So I asked my agent to buy shares which go down in the event of war. This he did. I lost my money and saved my soul.
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Gilbert Keith Chesterton
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
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J. G. Holland
God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
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John Gray
It is not giving children more that spoils them it is giving them more to avoid confrontation.
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Ecclesiates 1922 Bible
The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be. . .and there is no new thing under the sun. Is there any thing whereof it may be said, SEE, this is new It hath been already of old time, which was before us. There is no remembrance of former things.
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John Quincy Adams
Patience and perserverence have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.
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