Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

If you're a cowboy, and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.

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Peter Borden

Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields.

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Vince Lombardi

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score

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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets his wings. But what they don't tell you is, every time you hear a mousetrap snap, an angel gets set on fire.

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Aristotle

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.

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Athol

We compound our suffering by victimizing each other.

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Howard Aiken

Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats.

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Juvenal

All wish to possess knowledge, but few, comparatively speaking, are willing to pay the price.

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Laurence J. Peter

If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

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Samuel Johnson

The Irish are a fair people - they never speak well of one another.

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Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

Remember this-that there is a proper dignity and proportion to be observed in the performance of every act of life.

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George S. Patton

Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.

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