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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Proverbs and Sayings - 140
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Author Unknown
He who ashamed of his poverty would be equally proud of his wealth.
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Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
Tempt not a desperate man.
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Abbie Hoffman
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
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Lytton Strachey, in Michael Holroyd Lytton, Strachey vol. 1 (1967)
Discretion is not the better part of biography.
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From "Taxi"
The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel.
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Dorothy Fisher
A mother is not a person to lean on but person to make leaning unnecessary.
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Louis V. Gerstner Jr.
No machine can replace the human spark: spirit, compassion, love and understanding.
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African Proverb
A fool and water will go the way they are diverted.
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P. J. O\'Rourke
Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
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Ancient Proverb
Friendship is love with understanding.
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Dale Carnegie
Big shots are only little shots who kept on shooting.
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Time Bandits
Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence
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