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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Proverbs and Sayings - 114
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William Penn
Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders, than from the arguments of its opposers.
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G. Weilacher
One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop.
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Hazrat Ali Ibn-e-Abi Talib, Nahj-ul-Balagha (Sermons and sayings Compilation)
Man is a wonderful creature; he sees through the layers of fat (eyes), hears through a bone (ears) and speaks through a lump of flesh (tongue).
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James Thurber
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
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Denis Diderot
There is no moral precept that does not have something inconvenient about it.
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Yoda, Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.
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Victoria Holt
Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.
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Shimon Peres
If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact- not to be solved, but to be coped with over time.
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Hellen Keller
Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.... Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
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Marya Mannes
If American men are obsessed with money, American women are obsessed with weight. The men talk of gain, the women talk of loss, and I do not know which talk is the more boring.
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Titus Maccius Plautus, Captivi
There are occasions when it is undoubtedly better to incur loss than to make gain.
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John Donne
Come live with me, and be my love, And we will some new pleasures prove Of golden sands, and crystal brooks, With silken lines, and silver hooks.
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