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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Proverbs and Sayings - 122
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Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire
History is fables agreed upon.
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Don Marquis
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
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Aeschylus, Agamemnon
Death is better, a milder fate than tyranny.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
My poor head is in such a whirl, my mind is all in bits.
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Mort Crim
Today we may face some boring task or idle conversation that feels like a complete waste of time. Perhaps next week or next year we'll understand that nothing is wasted, that in the economy of our universe even a weed is simply a flower whose use has yet to be discovered.
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Vincent T. Lombardi
In great attempts, it is even glorious to fail.
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Doug Larson
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
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Hunter S. Thompson
No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.
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Laurence J. Peter
Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
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Paulson Frenckner
Management An activity or art where those who have not yet succeeded and those who have proved unsuccessful are led by those who have not yet failed.
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Grace Murray Hopper
If it's a good idea, go ahead and do it. It's much easier to apologize than it is to get permission.
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Mark Twain
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
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