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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humour Proverbs and Sayings - 154

Katharine Whitehorn

A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.


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Joan Rivers

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.


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James Baldwin

Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.


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H. L. Mencken

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.


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Claude Adrien Helvetius

Genius is nothing but continued attention.


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Clementine Paddleford

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.


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James Thurber, "Carpe Noctem, If You Can", in "Credos and Curios" (1962)

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.


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Beatrix Potter

Thank goodness I was never sent to school it would have rubbed off some of the originality.


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Jose Narosky

We protest against unjust criticism, but we accept unearned applause.


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John Davidson Rockefeller, Sr.

I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature.


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Lucius Annaeus Seneca

...a sword never kills anybody it's a tool in the killer's hand. From Ad Lucilium Epistulae Morales, Letters to Lucilius on Morals, Letter '87


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Titus Maccius Plautus

A contented mind is the best source for trouble.



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