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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Proverbs and Sayings - 152
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Aldous Huxley, "Proper Studies", 1927
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
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Malcolm Muggeridge
The orgasm has replaced the cross as the focus of longing and fulfillment.
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Sir Arthur Stanley Eddington
Every body continues in its state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line, except insofar as it doesn't.
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Homer, The Iliad
It is not possible to fight beyond your strength, even if you strive.
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William Pickens
Living together is an art.
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Frederick Douglas
What, to the American slave, is your Fourth of July I answer A day that reveals to him, more than all other days of the year, the gross injustices and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him your celebration is a sham.
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W. Wirt
He is a great simpleton who imagines that the chief power of wealth is to supply wants. In ninety-nine cases out of a hundred it creates more wants than it supplies.
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Fred Allen
My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back.
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Clive Staples Lewis
If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth - only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.
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Mary Case
No pressure, no diamonds.
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Unknown
Some days you're the dog, and some days you're the hydrant.
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Lord Chesterfield
Never seem more learned than the people you are with. Wear your learning like a pocket watch and keep it hidden. Do not pull it out to count the hours, but give the time when you are asked.
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