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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Proverbs and Quotations - 61
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Michel MacLiammir
We are born at the rise of the curtain and we die with its fall, and every night in the presence of our patrons we write our new creation, and every night it is blotted out forever and of what use is it to say to audience or to critic, 'Ah, but you should have seen me last Tuesday'
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Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols, What I owe to the Ancients
Plato is boring.
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Wilson Mitchell
It's not what happens to you it's what you do about it that makes the difference.
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Publilius Syrus
An angry man is again angry with himself when he returns to reason.
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Greek Proverb
Eat and drink with your relatives; do business with strangers.
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Prophet Mohammed
The best of the houses is the house where an orphan gets love and kindness.
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William Paley
A large part of virtue consists in good habits.
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Peter Ustinov
People who reach the top of the tree are only those who haven't got the qualifications to detain them at the bottom.
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Jane Wyman
The opportunity for brotherhood presents itself every time you meet a human being.
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Elie Wiesel
There is divine beauty in learning, just as there is human beauty in tolerance. To learn means to accept the postulate that life did not begin at my birth. Others have been here before me, and I walk in their footsteps. The books I have read were composed by generations of fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, teachers and disciples. I am the sum total of their experiences, their quests. And so are you.
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Sophocles, Trachiniae
Knowledge must come through action; you can have no test which is not fanciful, save by trial.
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Mario M Cuomo
I am a trial lawyer. ... Matilda says that at dinner on a good day I sound like an affidavit.
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