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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Proverbs and Quotations - 19
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Charles Caleb Colton
When you have nothing to say, say nothing.
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Samuel Johnson
An injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere.
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Luke Salisbury
Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it.
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Robert A. Heinlein
The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
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Felix and Oscar, from the Odd Couple
A penny for your thoughts? A dollar for your death.
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Martin Luther King
Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.
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Hermann Hesse
I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.
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George Santayana
The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool.
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John Updike
America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy.
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Antoine Laurent Lavoisier
The art of drawing conclusions from experiments and observations consists in evaluating probabilities and in estimating whether they are sufficiently great or numerous enough to constitute proofs. This kind of calculation is more complicated and more difficult than it is commonly thought to be. . .
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Jim Sorensen
A vision without action is called a daydream; but then again, action without a vision is called a nightmare.
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Unknown
A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top .
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