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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Proverbs and Sayings - 173
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Stephen Hawking, Interview with The Guardian (UK) September 27, 2005
If human life were long enough to find the ultimate theory, everything would have been solved by previous generations. Nothing would be left to be discovered.
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William Shakespeare
Simply the thing I am shall make me live.
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Mark Twain
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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Ursula K. LeGuin
I certainly wasn't happy. Happiness has to do with reason, and only reason earns it. What I was given was the thing you can't earn, and can't keep, and often don't even recognize at the time I mean joy.
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Sarah Knowles Bolton
Forget the past and live the present hour.
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H. L. Mencken
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
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Tom Robbins
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
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Blaise Pascal
We are generally the better persuaded by the reasons we discover ourselves than by those given to us by others.
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Jonathan Kozol
Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
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Miguel de Cervantes
When thou art at Rome, do as they do at Rome.
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Adlai E. Jr. Stevenson
In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.
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Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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