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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Proverbs and Quotations - 15
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Condense some daily experience into a glowing symbol, and an audience is electrified.
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Emily Dickinson
If I can stop one Heart from breaking I shall not live in vain
If I can ease one Life the Aching,
or cool one Pain,
Or help one fainting Robin
into his Nest again,
I shall not live in Vain.
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Michael McClary
Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'.
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Publilius Syrus
It is a bad plan that admits of no modification.
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Jane Austen
We met Dr. Hall in such deep mourning that either his mother, his wife, or himself must be dead.
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George Bernard Shaw
The world is populated in the main by people who should not exist.
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Bonnie Friedman
An unhurried sense of time is in itself a form of wealth.
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Kurt Vonnegut, "Cold Turkey", In These Times, May 10, 2004
Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.
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Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics
We must as second best...take the least of the evils.
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William Shakespeare
Free from gross passion or of mirth or anger constant in spirit, not swerving with the blood, garnish'd and deck'd in modest compliment, not working with the eye without the ear, and but in purged judgement trusting neither Such and so finely bolted didst thou seem.
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John Wilmot
Before I was married, I had a hundred theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories.
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Victor Hugo
No army can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come.
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