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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Sarcastic Proverbs and Sayings - 186

Ellie Katz

WARNING Humor may be hazardous to your illness.


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Robert A. Heinlein

A Libertarian Movement slogan


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Emad Hasan

Everyone should free their mind and soul. Some are ready to free them now, and some will be ready to free them in the future. Some will never be ready and that is what makes their lives not worth living.


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Tertullian

He who flees will fight again...


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Author Unknown

The best answer to answer to anger is silence.


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Sir Thomas More

They wonder much to hear that gold, which in itself is so useless a thing, should be everywhere so much esteemed, that even men for whom it was made, and by whom it has its value, should yet be thought of less value than it is.


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Kelly Robinson

Things are always darkest just before they go pitch black.


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Alfred E. Newman

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons...


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Will Rogers

You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.


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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I respect the man who knows distinctly what he wishes. The greater part of all mischief in the world arises from the fact that men do not sufficiently understand their own aims. They have undertaken to build a tower, and spend no more labor on the foundation than would be necessary to erect a hut.


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John Dryden

Let grace and goodness be the principal loadstone of thy affections. For love which hath ends, will have an end; whereas that which is founded on true virtue, will always continue.


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Jeff Melvoin

Chris says it's all in the doing, but to tell you the truth, there's a lot to be said for the having.



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