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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Proverbs and Sayings - 144
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William Shakespeare
I hate ingratitude more in a man than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, or any taint of vice whose strong corruption inhabits our frail blood.
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Kim Hubbard
A good front is half the battle in love or war.
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Buddha
Everything is changeable, everything appears and disappears there is no blissful peace until one passes beyond the agony of life and death.
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Kin Hubbard
The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
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Samuel Goldwyn
Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible.
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Homer, The Iliad
Of men who have a sense of honor, more come through alive than are slain, but from those who flee comes neither glory nor any help.
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Diana Nyad
There isnothing greater than touching the shore after crossing some great body of water knowing that I've done it with my own two arms and legs.
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Homer
A multitude of rulers is not a good thing. Let there be one ruler, one king.
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Earl Warren
I always turn to the sports pages first, which records people's accomplishments. The front page has nothing but man's failures.
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Don Hirschberg
Calling Atheism a religion is like calling bald a hair color.
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Seneca
The path of precept is long, that of example short and effectual.
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Niccolo Machiavelli, quoted in O Magazine, November 2003
God creates men, but they choose each other.
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