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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Proverbs and Sayings - 195
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Richard Olney, a lawyer for the Boston & Maine and Attorney General under Grover Cleveland, advising a railroad president
The Interstate Commerce commission, as its functions have now been limited by the courts is, or can be made, of great use to the railroads. It satisfies the public clamor for a government supervision of railroads, at the same time that that supervision is almost entirely nominal.
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Edwin H. Land
Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
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Thomas Carlyle
Speech is human, silence is divine, yet also brutish and dead: therefore we must learn both arts.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Money, which represents the prose of life, and which is hardly spoken of in parlors without an apology, is, in its effects and laws, as beautiful as roses.
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Robert Lynd, Book-"The Pleasures of Ignorance" (1921)
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
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Matthew Arnold
It is almost impossible to exaggerate the proneness of the human mind to take miracles as evidence, and to seek for miracles as evidence.
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E.W. Howe
A thief believes everybody steals.
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Albert Einstein, Letter, 24 March 1954. Quoted in "Albert Einstein: The Human Side," edited by Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffman
It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it.
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Michael Jackson, 2Bad
Look who’s standing if you please, ‘though you tried to bring me to my knees.
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Heinrich Heine
Oh, what lies there are in kisses!
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Homer, The Iliad
The outcome of the war is in our hands; the outcome of words is in the council.
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Henry Van Dyke
Half of the secular unrest and dismal, profane sadness of modern society comes from the vain ideas that every man is bound to be a critic for life.
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