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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Crazy Proverbs and Quotations - 3

Amy Vanderbilt

Parents must get across the idea that I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.


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Oscar Levant

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.


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Dick Werthimer

The purpose of life is to fight maturity.


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Bertrand Russell V. Delong

The most valuable things in life are not measured in monetary terms. The really important things are not houses and lands, stocks and bonds, automobiles and real state, but friendships, trust, confidence, empathy, mercy, love and faith.


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Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Talk not of wasted affection, affection never was wasted, If it enrich not the heart of another, its waters returning Back to their springs, like the rain shall fill them full of refreshment That which the fountain sends forth returns again to the fountain.


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William Shakespeare

O, beware, my lord, of jealousy It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock The meat it feeds on.


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Susan Ertz

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.


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Donald Culross Peattie

Beauty is excrescence, superabundance, random ebulience, and sheer delightful waste to be enjoyed in its own right.


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James Thurber

I hate women because they always know where things are.


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John Updike

I love my government not least for the extent to which it leaves me alone.


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Mere

Beauty is the first present nature gives to women and the first it takes away.


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Constanze

Dancing is like dreaming with your feet!



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