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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Proverbs and Sayings - 180
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James Burgh
No kingdom can be secured otherwise than by arming the people. The possession of arms is the distinction between a freeman and a slave. He, who has nothing, and who himself belongs to another, must be defended by him, whose property he is, and needs no arms. But he, who thinks he is his own master, and has what he can call his own, ought to have arms to defend himself and what he possesses else he lives precariously, and at discretion.
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William Bennett
There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.
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Jane Caminos
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
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Audre Lorde
Revolution is not a onetime event.
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F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Love of the Last Tycoon
What people are ashamed of usually makes a good story.
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John Burroughs
Blessed is the man who has some congenial work, some occupation in which he can put his heart, and which affords a complete outlet to all the forces there are in him.
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Dolly Parton
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
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Doris Wild Helmering
A friend drops their plans when you're in trouble, shares joy in your accomplishments, feels sad when you're in pain. A friend encourages your dreams and offers advice--but when you don't follow it, they still respect and love you.
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Harold S. Geneen
Do you want my one-word secret of happiness--it's growth--mental, financial, you name it.
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Blade
Frost You may wake up one day and find yourself extinct
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Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill
We are all worms, but I do believe that I am a glow-worm.
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Golo Mann
Man is always more than he can know of himself consequently, his accomplishments, time and again, will come as a surprise to him.
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