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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Proverbs and Sayings - 146
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Chinese Proverb
An inch of time cannot be bought with an inch of gold.
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Dan Rather
An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger.
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Latin Proverb
Keep quiet and people will think you a philosopher.
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Voltaire
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
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David Darlington, from his novel Angels Visits: An Inquiry into the Mystery of Zinfandel
In the mirrorlike relationship between wine and human beings, Zinfandel owned more reflective properties than any other grape; in its infinite mutability, it was capable of expressing almost any philosophical position or psychological function. As a result, its own true nature might never be known.
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Richard Pryor, Guardian Unlimited (UK) August 9, 2004
I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, I wanna grow up and be a critic.
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Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
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Benjamin Cardozo
Opinion has a significance proportioned to the sources that sustain it.
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Sherri Reynolds, A Gracious Plenty
What matters is this: you can look at a scar and see hurt, or you can look at a scar and see healing. Try to understand.
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English Proverb
First deserve, and then desire.
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Henry Brougham
It was the boast of Augustus that he found Rome of brick and left it of marble. But how much nobler will be the sovereign's boast when he shall have it to say that he found law... a sealed book and left it a living letter found it the patrimony of the rich and left it the inheritance of the poor found it the two-edged sword of craft and oppression and left it the staff of honesty and the shield of innocence.
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Will Rogers
Every man is ignorant - just on different subjects.
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