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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Proverbs and Quotations - 40
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Benjamin Franklin
Would you live with ease, do what you ought, and not what you please.
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Lawana Blackwell
If there was strife and contention in the home, very little else in life could compensate for it.
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Dr. Arthur Kellerman
If you've got to resist, you're chances of being hurt are less the more lethal your weapon. If that were my wife, would I want her to have a .38 Special in her hand Yeah.
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Margaret Hilda Thatcher
If you want to cut your own throat, don't come to me for a bandage.
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John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace.
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Frank Crane
Most of the things we decide are not what we know to be the best. We say yes, merely because we are driven into a corner and must say somethign.
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Robert L. Stanfield
There's only one me, and I'm stuck with him.
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Paul Valery
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
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Horace Bushnell
Morality, taken as apart from religion, is but another name for decency in sin. It is just that negative species of virtue which consists in not doing what is scandalously depraved and wicked. But there is no heart of holy principle in it, any more than there is in the grosser sin.
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Norman Vincent Peale
We struggle with the complexities and avoid the simplicities.
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Fulton John Sheen
Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it.
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Kahlil Gibran
During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk. When once the risk has really been taken, then the greatest danger is to risk too much.
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