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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Proverbs and Sayings - 145
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Alexander Hamilton
Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
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William Wister Haines
Don't be afraid to ask dumb questions. They're more easily handled than dumb mistakes.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Blow ye winds, like the trumpet blows but without that noise.
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Mark Twain
A verb has a hard enough time of it in this world when it is all together. It's downright inhuman to split it up. But that's what those Germans do. They take part of a verb and put it down here, like a stake, and they take the other part of it and put it a way over yonder like another stake, and between these two limits they just shovel in German.
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J. R. R. Tolkien
The Hobbits are just rustic English people, made small in size because it reflects the generally small reach of their imagination.
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Lewis Carroll
For I do not believe God means us thus to divide life into two halves - to wear a grave face on Sunday, and to think it out-of-place to even so much as mention Him on a week-day. Do you think He cares to see only kneeling figures and to hear only tones of prayer - and that He does not also love to see the lambs leaping in the sunlight, and to hear the merry voices of the children, as they roll amoung the hay? Surely their innocent laughter is as sweet in His ears as the grandest anthem that ever rolled up from the dim religious light of some solemn cathedral?
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Dugald Stewart
The faculty of imagination is the great spring of human activity, and the principle source of human improvement. As it delights in presenting to the mind scenes and characters more perfect than those which we are acquainted with, it prevents us from ever being completely satisfied without present condition, or with our past attainments, and engages us continually in the pursuit of some untried enjoyment, or of some ideal excellence. Destroy this faculty, and the condition of man will become as stationary as that of the brutes.
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Pema Chodron
It's also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that's sitting right here right now... with its aches and it pleasures... is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.
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Eric Hoffer
In a time of drastic change it is the learners who inherit the future. The learned usually find themselves equipped to live in a world that no longer exists.
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Clarence Darrow
Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?
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Cornelius Tacitus
There can never be a complete confidence in a power which is excessive.
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Albert Einstein
At any rate, I am convinced that He God does not play dice.
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