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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funniest Proverbs and Sayings - 179

Sydney Smith

What would the world do without tea? - how did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea.


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Albert Schweitzer

Life becomes harder for us when we live for others, but it also becomes richer and happier.


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Lawrence Downs

A good deal happens in a man's life that he isn't responsible for. Fortunate openings occur but it is safe to remember that such 'breaks' are occurring all the time, and other things being equal, the advantage goes to the man who is ready.


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Hannah Whitall Smith

Let me advise thee not to talk of thyself as being old. There is something in Mind Cure, after all, and if thee continually talks of thyself as being old, thee may perhaps bring on some of the infirmities of age. At least I would not risk it if I were thee.


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Le Rochefoucauld

Weak people cannot be sincere.


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John Ruskin

You will find that the mere resolve not to be useless, and the honest desire to help other people, will, in the quickest and delicatest ways, improve yourself.


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Kyle Schmidt

I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say that would describe how I feel as perfectly as you deserve it.


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William Shakespeare

He wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat.


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John Locke

Fortitude is the guard and support of the other virtues.


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Miles Davis

First you imitate, then you innovate.


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Henry Bolingbroke

We can only reason from what is; we can reason on actualities, but not on possibilities.


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Pope Shenouda III, Pope & Patriach of Alexandria

A Church without Youth is a Church without a future. Moreover, Youth without a Church is Youth without a future.



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