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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Crazy Proverbs and Sayings - 83

Sir Compton MacKenzie

The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become a domesticated animal


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Igor Stravinsky

I have learned throughout my life as a composer chiefly through my mistakes and pursuits of false assumptions, not by my exposure to founts of wisdom and knowledge.


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Aesop

Put your shoulder to the wheel.


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Aristotle

The gods too are fond of a joke.


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Homer, The Odyssey

The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were better unspoken.


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Robert Benchley

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.


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Henry Fielding

He that can heroically endure adversity will bear prosperity with equal greatness of the soul; for the mind that cannot be dejected by the former is not likely to be transported without the latter.


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Norman Cousins

The main failure of education is that it has not prepared people to comprehend matters concerning human destiny.


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Johann Kaspar Lavater

Kiss the hand of him who can renounce what he has publicly taught, when convicted of his error and who, with heartfelt joy, embraces the truth, though with the sacrifice of favorite opinions.


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Stewart B. Johnson

Our business in life is not to get ahead of others, but to get ahead of ourselves -- to break our own records, to outstrip our yesterday by our today.


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Rita Mae Brown

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.


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Woody Allen

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.



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