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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Proverbs and Sayings - 68
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Mark Twain
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
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Barry Goldwater
To insist on strength ... is not war-mongering. It is peace-mongering.
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Unknown, The Ultimate Law
All general statements are false.
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Omar Khayym
Into this Universe, and Why not knowing Nor Whence, like Water, willy-nilly flowing And out of it, as Wind along the Waste, I know not Wither, willy-nilly blowing.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you.
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Muhammad Ali
Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
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Lord Byron
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
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Henry James
It's time to start living the life you've imagined.
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Herb Caen
The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.
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Tom Robbins
To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
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The Book of the Dead
Hail to you gods, on that day of the great reckoning. Behold me, I have come to you, without sin, without guilt, without evil, without a witness against me, without one whom I have wronged. I am one pure of mouth, pure of hands.
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Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill
Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.
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