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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Proverbs and Sayings - 63
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Albert Einstein
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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Hubert H. Humphrey
The impersonal hand of government can never replace the helping hand of a neighbor.
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Agnes de Mille
The truest expression of a people is in its dance and in its music. Bodies never lie.
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Aristophanes
Shall I crack any of those old jokes, master, At which the audience never fail to laugh
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Joe E. Louis
I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves.
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Daniel Webster
If we abide by the principles taught by the Bible, our country will go on prospering.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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Ayn Rand
Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think that you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong.
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Doris Lessing
Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.
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La Rochefoucauld
Not all those who know their minds know their hearts as well.
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Friedrich Nietzsche
Digressions, objections, delight in mockery, carefree mistrust are signs of health everything unconditional belongs in pathology.
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Steve Pavlina, How to Win an Argument, 08-31-05
If someone offers you a gift, and you decline to accept it, the other person still owns that gift. The same is true of insults and verbal attacks.
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