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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Proverbs and Sayings - 37
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Bette Davis
I do not regret one professional enemy I have made. Any actor who doesn't dare to make an enemy should get out of the business.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have heard with admiring submission the experience of the lady who declared that the sense of being well-dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquillity which religion is powerless to bestow.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
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Sophocles
Knowledge must come through action you can have no test which is not fanciful, save by trial.
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Latin Proverb
By learning you will teach, by teaching you will learn.
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Theodore Roosevelt
If I must choose between righteousness and peace, I choose righteousness.
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Demosthenes
Beware lest in your anxiety to avoid war you obtain a master.
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Stephen King, Roland from "The Last Gunslinger"
Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty.
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Deepak Chopra, The Return of Merlin
A single event can shape our lives or change the course of history.
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Charles Dickens
Then Bob proposed 'A Merry Christmas to us all, my dears. God bless us' Which all his family re-echoed. 'God bless us every one' said Tiny Tim, the last of all.
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Harvey Firestone
It is only as we develop others that we permanently succeed.
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Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking, 1973
Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back--in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.
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