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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Proverbs and Sayings - 48
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Margaret Hilda Thatcher
I like Mr Gorbachev, we can do business together.
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G. K. Chesterton, Defendant (1901)
All slang is a metaphor, and all metaphor is poetry.
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Bill Vaughan
Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I can't stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like 'Hey, when are you going to pay me that hundred dollars you owe me' or 'Do you have that fifty dollars you borrowed' Man, quit being so cheap
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I. F. Stone
Those who set out nobly to be their brother's keeper sometimes end up by becoming his jailer. Every emancipation has in it the seeds of a new slavery, and every truth easily becomes a lie.
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Rosenstock-Huessy
Grammar and logic free language from being at the mercy of the tone of voice. Grammar protects us against misunderstanding the sound of an uttered name; logic protects us against what we say have double meaning.
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Richard Brinsley Sheridan
He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts.
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J. R. R. Tolkien
His house was perfect, whether you liked food, or sleep, or work, or story-telling, or singing, or just sitting and thinking, best, or a pleasant mixture of them all.
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Pele
When you control the ball, you control the score.
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John Petit Senn
Not what we have But what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance.
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Fritz Kunkel
To be mature means to face, and not evade, every fresh crisis that comes.
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Geoffrey Chaucer, The Canterbury Tales, 1390
He was as fresh as is the month of May.
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