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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Proverbs and Sayings - 96
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Norman Douglas
Education is a state-controlled manufactory of echoes.
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Henny Youngman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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Evelyn Waugh, Work Suspended (1943)
Suffering is none the less acute and much more lasting when it is put into words.
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Sam Brown, Washington Post, 1977
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
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The Belzer Rabbi
Let a good man do good deeds with the same zeal that the evil man does bad ones.
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J. R. R. Tolkien
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
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Golda Meir
Arab sovereignty in Jerusalem just cannot be. This city will not be divided-not half and half, not 60-'40
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William James
The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.
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James Russell Lowell
There is no good arguing with the inevitible. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat.
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Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
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Unknown
If you make the world a little better, then you have accomplished a great deal.
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Julius Henry Marx
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
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