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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Proverbs and Sayings - 93
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Hasidic Saying
The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others.
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Eric Ambler
For the skeptic there remains only one consolation if there should be such a thing as superhuman law it is administered with subhuman inefficiency.
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Henry C. Blinn
If you think that you can think about a thing, inextricably attached to something else, without thinking of the thing it is attached to, then you have a legal mind.
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Josephus Daniels
Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
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Bob the Dog
My empty waterdish mocks me.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Isn't it funny how whenever we go to a county fair or a state fair, the first thing we do is see if they have some kind of pornography booth
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George W. Bush, BBC/CNN
Ladies and Gentlemen, we got him! (said after capture of Saddam)
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Alan Watts
Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.
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Joseph Addison
What an absurd thing it is to pass over all the valuable parts of a man, and fix our attention on his infirmities.
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Harvey Mackay
It isn't the people you fire who make your life miserable, it's the people you don't.
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Pierre Trudeau
Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.
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Chuang Tzu
If The Way is made clear, it is no longer The Way.
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