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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Proverbs and Sayings - 40
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Mark Twain
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
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Richard Phillips Feynman
The theoretical broadening which comes from having many humanities subjects on the campus is offset by the general dopiness of the people who study these things...
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Lenin
A lie told often enough becomes truth.
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R. Buckminster Fuller, New Yorker, Jan. 8, 1966
Either war is obsolete or men are.
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Antoine De Saint-Exupery
A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
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Dylan Thomas
I just drank eighteen whiskies. That must be a record.
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Erma Bombeck
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Moroccan Proverb
He who has nothing to die for has nothing to live for.
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Albert Einstein, 1929
Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves.
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Cokie Roberts, TV interview in either 1992 or 1996
Washington DC is the only place in America where people put bumper stickers on their cars the day *after* the election.
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Al Capone
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
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Abraham Lincoln
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.
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