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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Proverbs and Sayings - 77
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Jewish Proverb
The innkeeper loves a drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
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Clinton Jones
I never been in no situation where havin' money make it any worse.
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Henry Ford
Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.
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Shakti Gawain
When I'm trusting and being myself... everything in my life reflects this by falling into place easily, often miraculously.
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Socrates
And in knowing that you know nothing, that makes you the smartest of all.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.
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Lester R Bittel
Sometimes in politics one must duel with skunks, but no one should be fool enough to allow the skunks to choose the weapons.
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Barbara Hall
LEONARD I've failed, Chris. I can't locate the white collective unconscious. CHRIS I wouldn't feel too bad about that. You know, western culture hasn't really carried the baton on folklore and mythology. The rise of Christianity put the kibosh on it--the gospel hits the number one best-seller list and everything else gets remaindered.
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Victor Borge
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
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Benjamin Franklin
If you would persuade, you must appeal to interest rather than intellect.
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George Gordon Byron
He who is only just is cruel. Who on earth could live were all judged justly
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Socrates
Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.
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