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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Proverbs and Sayings - 42
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Alexander Hamilton
Why has government been instituted at all? Because the passions of men will not conform to the dictates of reason and justice, without constraint.
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Yvonne De Gaulle
The presidency is temporary-but the family is permanent.
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Russell Wayne Baker
Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories -- those that don't work, those that break down, and those that get lost.
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Swami Sivanada
There is a tricycle in man. He knows, he feels and acts. He has emotion, intellect and will. He must develop head, heart and hand.
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Ian Hay
Funny-peculiar or funny-ha-ha
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Benjamin Disraeli
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
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Herbert Gardner
Once you get people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them almost anything.
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Robert Byrne
Partying is such sweet sorrow.
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William Shakespeare
Double, double toil and trouble Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
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Joan Rivers
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ``Get the hell off my property.'
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Aldous Huxley, Vendeta for the Western World, 1945
Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.
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Lynn Johnston
No matter how old you are, there's always something good to look forward to.
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