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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 111
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Thomas Szasz
Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.
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Frederick Buechner
It is as impossible for man to demonstrate the existence of God as it would be for even Sherlock Holmes to demonstrate the existence of Arthur Conan Doyle.
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Margaret Deland
One must desire something to be alive.
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Benjamin Franklin
So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do.
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John Gunther
Count Hermann Keyserling once said truly that the greatest American superstition was belief in facts.
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Mahatma Gandhi
We must become the change we want to see.
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Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Fate leads the willing and drags along the unwilling. - Epistulae ad Lucilium
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you're ever selling your house, and some people come by, and a big rat comes out and he's dragging the rattrap because it didn't quite kill him, just tell the people he's your pet and that's a trick you taught him.
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C. S. Lewis
I have found a desire within myself that no experience in this world can satisfy; the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.
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Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanac (1758)
Creditors have better memories than debtors.
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Alan Patrick Herbert
The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
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Ellis Peters
Nothing is more pleasing and engaging than the sense of having conferred benefits. Not even the gratification of receiving them.
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