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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 110
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Thomas Szasz
If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
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Sir Walter Besant
I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy.
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Cicero, On Friendship, 44 B.C.
Friendship make prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it.
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H.L. Mencken
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.
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Gilbert Keith Chesterton
There is something to be said for every error but, whatever may be said for it, the most important thing to be said about it is that it is erroneous.
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Jane E. Brody
Turn your midlife crisis to your own advantage by making it a time for renewal of your body and mind, rather than stand by helplessly and watch them decline.
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Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
You will always find hatred strongest and most violent where there is the lowest degree of culture.
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Floyd Dell
Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything.
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Albert Einstein
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
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Cicero
The evil implanted in man by nature spreads so imperceptibly, when the habit of wrong-doing is unchecked, that he himself can set no limit to his shamelessness.
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Samuel Johnson, (attributed; also attributed to Ann Landers)
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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Carl Sagan
Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality.
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