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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Sarcastic Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 96

Solomon Ibn Gabirol

As long as a word remains unspoken, you are it's master once you utter it, you are it's slave.


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Don Herold

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.


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Author Unknown

Before a man can wake up and find himself famous he has to wake up and find himself.


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Ansel Adams

Millions of men have lived to fight, build palaces and boundaries, shape destinies and societies; but the compelling force of all times has been the force of originality and creation profoundly affecting the roots of human spirit.


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Bernard Bailey

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.


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George Eliot

The beginning of an acquaintance whether with persons or things is to get a definite outline of our ignorance.


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Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

Every year, if not every day, we have to wager our salvation upon some prophecy based upon imperfect knowledge.


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William Shakespeare

The course of true love never did run smooth.


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Mark Twain

Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.


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George Bernard Shaw, Back to Methuselah (1921) pt. 5

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.


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Benito Perez Galdos

I believe that if i should die, and you were to walk near my grave, from the very depths of the earth I would hear your footsteps.


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Aristotle

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.



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