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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 101
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Spiro Agnew
In the United States today, we have more than our share of nattering nabobs of negativism.
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George Crabbe
Habit with him was all the test of truth, It must be right I've done it from my youth.
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Francis Cardinal Spellman
Pray as if everything depended upon God and work as if everything depended upon man.
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Henry Fielding, "Jonathan Wild"
He, in a few minutes ravished this fair creature, or at least would have ravished her, if she had not, by a timely compliance, prevented him.
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Confucius
Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.
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Konrad Adenauer
Kennedy cooked the soup that Johnson had to eat.
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Predator
If it bleeds, you can kill it
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Franklin D. Roosevelt
If you treat people right they will treat you right - ninety percent of the time.
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Karl Marx
Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.
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Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
Civility costs nothing and buys everything.
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Peter Ustinov
By increasing the size of the keyhole, today's playwrights are in danger of doing away with the door.
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Howard W. Hunter, Speech given in October 1994
The path of repentance, though hard at times, lifts one ever upwards and leads to a perfect forgiveness.
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