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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 50
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Unknown
After all is said and done, a lot more will have been said than done.
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H.L. Mencken
For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe... Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.
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George Gilder
If government could create jobs and raise children, socialism would have worked.
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Gail Sheehy
As we reach midlife . we are not prepared for the idea that time can run out on us, or for the startling truth that if we don't hurry to pursue our own definition of a meaningful existence, life can become a repetition of trivial maintenance duties.
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Spanish Proverb
Books are hindrances to persisting stupidity.
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Plato
There is no such thing as a lover's oath.
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Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Man is a gregarious animal and much more so in his mind than in his body. A golden rule; judge men not by their opinions but by what their opinions have made of them.
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Henry David Thoreau
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
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Isaac Newton, Letter to Robert Hooke, February 5, 1675
If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.
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Carolyn Kenmore
If you can learn from hard knocks, you can also learn from soft touches.
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Edmund Burke
The only infallible criterion of wisdom to vulgar minds -- success.
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Dorothy Rothschild Parker
Hell's afloat in lover's tears.
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