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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Very Funny Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 30

Noam Chomsky

Personally, I'm in favor of democracy, which means that the central institutions of society have to be under popular control. Now, under capitalism, we can't have democracy by definition. Capitalism is a system in which the central institutions of society are in principle under autocratic control. Thus, a corporation or an industry is, if we were to think of it in political terms, fascist that is, it has tight control at the top and strict obedience has to be establishedat every level--there's little bargaining, a little give and take,but the line of authority is perfectly straightforward. Just as I'm opposed to political fascism, I'm opposed to economic fascism. I think that until the major institutions of society are under the popular control of participants and communities, it's pointless to talk about democracy.


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Fyodor Dostoevsky

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.


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Anne Wilson Schaef

We begin to see that the completion of an important project has every right to be dignified by a natural grieving process. Something that required the best of you has ended. You will miss it.


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Seneca, Epistles

The best ideas are common property.


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Calvin Coolidge

Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.


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Dan Quayle, 8/18/92

Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year.


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Desiderius Erasmus

War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.


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Lord Chesterfield

Never seem more learned than the people you are with. Wear your learning like a pocket watch and keep it hidden. Do not pull it out to count the hours, but give the time when you are asked.


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Robert Frost

Earth's the right place for love. I don't know where it's likely to go better.


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Unknown

Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.


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Mahatma Gandhi

Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.


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Anonymous

Liberty is the right to choose. Freedom is the result of the right choice.



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