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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 40
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Bette Davis
Getting old is not for sissies.
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Lady Bird Johnson
Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them.
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Tom Stoppard
For 10 years of my life, 3 times a day, I thanked the Lord for what I was about to receive and thanked him again for what I had just received, and then we lost touch and I suddenly thought, where is he now
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Franklin P. Jones
Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his.
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Thomas Jefferson, 1801
My only fear is that I may live too long. This would be a subject of dread to me.
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Douglas Noel Adams
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
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Thomas Sowell
Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good. In area after area - crime, education, housing, race relations - the situation has gotten worse after the bright new theories were put into operation. The amazing thing is that this history of failure and disaster has neither discouraged the social engineers nor discredited them.
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Bible
Blessed is the man that endureth temptation for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life.
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Buddha
A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But if these minds get out of harmony with one another it is like a storm that plays havoc with the garden.
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Catholic Prayer
Angel of God, my guardian dear To whom God's love commits me here Ever this day be at my side, To light and guard, to rule and guide.
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Christopher Morley
Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it.
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Kid Rock
If it sounds good, you'll hear it If it looks good, you'll see it If it's marketed right, you'll buy it but if it's real, you'll feel it.
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