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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 44
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Augustus Hare
Man without religion is the creature of circumstances.
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General Smedley Butler
War like any other racket, pays high dividends to the very few. The cost of operations is always transferred to the people who do not profit.
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Zig Ziglar
You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.
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H. G. Wells
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
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Simone de Beauvoir
That's what I consider true generosity. You give your all, and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing.
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Muhammad Ali
The fight is won or lost far away from witnessesbehind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.
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Richard Gere
I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'm a giraffe.
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Author Unknown
Results are what you expect, and consequences are what you get.
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Albert Camus
You cannot acquire experience by making experiments. You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
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Walt Whitman
I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.
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Nathaniel Hawthorne
Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.
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Shimon Peres
Nothing had excited me-the huge cars, the entourages, the bodyguards, the policeman jumping to attention, all meant nothing to me ... till I came to the old man's office. (On becoming prime minister)
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