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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humour Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 44

Augustus Hare

Man without religion is the creature of circumstances.


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General Smedley Butler

War like any other racket, pays high dividends to the very few. The cost of operations is always transferred to the people who do not profit.


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Zig Ziglar

You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.


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H. G. Wells

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.


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Simone de Beauvoir

That's what I consider true generosity. You give your all, and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing.


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Muhammad Ali

The fight is won or lost far away from witnessesbehind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.


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Richard Gere

I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'm a giraffe.


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Author Unknown

Results are what you expect, and consequences are what you get.


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Albert Camus

You cannot acquire experience by making experiments. You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.


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Walt Whitman

I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.


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Nathaniel Hawthorne

Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.


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Shimon Peres

Nothing had excited me-the huge cars, the entourages, the bodyguards, the policeman jumping to attention, all meant nothing to me ... till I came to the old man's office. (On becoming prime minister)



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